


This Is The World We've Made

by Rising_Phoenix



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Gay Relationship, Canon-Typical Violence, Christian Character, Crusades, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, Gay Sex, Historical Inaccuracy, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, Islamophobia, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia, Religious Guilt, Slow Burn, Temporary Character Death, War
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-05 10:07:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25469032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rising_Phoenix/pseuds/Rising_Phoenix
Summary: Nicky remembers the time when he had been nothing but Nicolò di Genova, an idealistic young priest who had left his home, said goodbye to family and friends, and had joined the crusaders on their journey. But already after a few weeks of journey, everything innocent and idealistic had vanished from Nicolò's soul, witnessing the crimes and cruelty of war, witnessed murder, rape, and cannibalism. He is certain that this journey is a test, that if he should survive this, he will return home a changed, a better man.In the days of the siege of Jerusalem, he prepares for battle, somehow knowing that he will meet his destiny on the battlefield, here in the desert sand.But then he meets his destiny in a very different way than anticipated.He meets Yusuf...and everything changes...
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Comments: 9
Kudos: 72





	This Is The World We've Made

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hanniXwill1](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hanniXwill1/gifts).



> This story is for my old and new friends on Twitter.  
> Without you, I would not be able to go on.
> 
> *************************************************************
> 
> This story starts in the prologue with a pretty shitty day for Nicky, which causes him to remember the past. The "real" story that will begin with the second chapter is that of him and Joe meeting for the first time, realizing they can't die after killing each other over, and over again, and becoming not only unlikely friends but in the end eternal lovers...

_**2 0 2 0** _

Nicky stepped out of the shower, dripping wet, hair and skin cleaned of the traces of blood and brain matter that had previously stained him.

His own blood, that of his friends, that of the guard and human traffickers they had been able to take out; Joe’s brain matter. He still felt himself tense p at the memory of a bullet hitting Joe’s head, the gasp his partner made when the light of life had vanished from his eyes, still looking at Nicky next to him. His blood and brain ahead sprayed onto Nicky’s face, himself gasping in shock.

Even after more than 900 years and countless deaths, they both had experienced at each other’s side, he would never get used to seeing Joe die. It was him who had killed the shooter with his sword that had opened an angry, deep wound over the man’s body, before he had fallen to his knees and cradled Joe’s head in his lap, whispering a prayer, begging destiny to lead Joe back to him. It had only taken seconds, he knew that, but they still had felt like an unbearable eternity until Joe’s eyes regained their fire and he took a first shaky breath. They only shortly had locked eyes, before both had gotten up from the floor and continued to do the job they were here for.

A job that had neither went as planned nor good at all.

They had been hired to take out a ring of human traffickers, free the children they held in their hands to sell them to the high bidder, and end their dirty business.

Sure, they had killed the men and women who could hardly considered human, considering the crimes they were guilty of. They had killed them with all means possible. Andy had used her axe, skillful and graceful as always, while Nile had relied on her aim and trusted guns. He and Joe had used their combination of guns, sword and saber to shoot, cut throats, stab and pierce until the floor was covered in blood.

Until then, everything had went almost as planned.

But then, they had opened the locked door to the basement.

To the cells.

The stench of feces, urine, blood, and something else hit them the moment Nile had opened the door. Andy’s eyes had suddenly looked empty, Joe’s face had turned into a disgusted mask, Nicky had wanted to throw up.

It was Nile who then had remarked that it was too silent.

Too silent for scared children held here like cattle.

Too silent for the victims of torture and rape.

Too silent for anyone to be alive.

Of the fourteen children that had found in the cells they had opened one after the other in complete silence, only five were still alive.

Knowing they were ambushed when one of the guards had ended his life the moment he had set off the alarm, those bad examples for humanity had started to kill their captives. Some of the children had cut throats, eyes still painted with fear, others had ended their short lives with bullets to their heads.

Nicky though could not say if those dead were not the truly lucky one after he had seen what had been done to those little bodies, covered in dirt and bruises. He doubted that these five children they had been able to free would ever be able to forget what had happened to them.

The fears and nightmares they would have to go through for the rest of their lives, it was a thought that killed Nicky.

Only that he could not die.

He sighed and dried himself off with the towel that without a doubt had been put there by Joe, who had showered before him and then had left him to himself, knowing him well enough to know he needed some space in moments like this.

On the bed Joe and he shared, he found clean sweatpants and a blue t-shirt, and a small smile appeared on his face, being always touched when Joe showed his domestic side, which was not rare. He always took great care if his partner’s needs and could read him like an open book.

Closing his eyes at the scent of the detergent they used, Nicky out the fresh clothes on and then went downstairs, where Nile and Andy were sitting together on the couch. Andy was trying to distract herself with the TV show that was running, while Nile was talking to her. Nicky did not need to know Nile as good as he knew Andy to see how upset she was as well. She shortly looked up and gave him a short smile, insecure how to act around him, not having seen him this distraught so far.

It should have bothered him that they were acting like nothing had happened today, like they had the job done to everyone’s satisfaction, but he was not. Part of him was glad that they were not in the same turmoil as him, that even though upset for the moment, they could return to what their normal lives were.

When Andy looked up, he saw the worry in her eyes, but then, after he had given her a nod, she smiled as well and returned to watch TV, prompting him to move on.

He found his other half in the kitchen, where he was standing at the wooden table chopping vegetables. They exchanged a look before Nicky sat down on a chair, unable to not admire the beauty Joe was.

Nicky watched him in silence prepare their late dinner, only exchanging more short looks in wordless communication that had become normal for them. Once, Nicky stole a piece of cucumber and earned a playful slap on his hand, accompanied by Joe’s pearly laughter.

Dinner was a casual and comfortable affair. The meat and vegetables Joe had cooked to perfection for them caused Andy to hum in bliss and Nile to shower him in compliments about his kitchen skills. Joe smiled while chewing and winked at Nile before his eyes shifted again to look at Nicky who was eating only slowly and rearranged the food with his fork. Only when he noticed that Joe was watching him, he continued to eat.

Joe pushed him to finish the food that he had served him and promised a surprise, a choice of words that made Nile choke on the bite she was just chewing.

A few minutes later, after Joe and Nile and brought the plates to the kitchen to be cleaned later, he returned with a plate he put into the center of the table. Nicky had indeed been surprised by what Joe had made for him. Even though he knew everyone would get their share, he knew that Joe would never make ma’amoul for anyone but him. He was moved by the gesture, by the effort of making his favorite pastry to lighten his mood and for a short while it did work and he had eaten three of the date-filled pastries and smiled while chewing, closing his eyes at the flavors on his tongue.

Nile offered to do the dishes and Andy looked like she was needing a good night’s sleep more than anything, and it was one longing look from Joe to tell Nicky exactly what he wanted, and as soon as they had closed the door to their room behind them, Joe’s lips were on his. It was one of those nights, when they had all the time in the world, when languid and lazy kisses were paired with arousing touches and slow undressing. Joe had whispered into his ear, hot and sweet, that this was only for him and that he should allow himself to enjoy and only then he realized that his whole body was still tense, every muscle alert.

Their lovemaking this night was slow and intense, filled with the passion and knowledge of the other’s body that only two lovers could have that were well acquainted with each other. Others would maybe be bored after a relationship this long, people he read about often were bored after a few years already, but there was nothing about Joe and him being together that could ever not feel new and exciting. Not only physically they were one, they had been one for more years than either could remember. Joe had pulled moans and whispers from his throat, pushed him to his limit and to his own, and then held him for long minutes without moving, almost without breathing, before he had rolled off Nicky and came to lie at his side, falling slowly asleep while Nicky’s hand caressed his curls, the closeness of the other man being the only thing reminding him that he was real, that nothing of all this was just a bad dream.

He wanted so much to drift away into a relaxing sleep as well, to spend hours in a world where there was no harm and cruelty until he would wake up with Joe at his side, lazy smiles and tender caresses to start the day, wanted to dream of happier days, of better times.

But nothing of all that happened.

Even after hours, he could not sleep.

No exhaustion, no tiredness of his bones, not even the past hours of intimacy with his partner could be enough to bring him sleep and dream.

He could not say how long he was had been lying there, on his back instead of his left side. Minutes. Hours maybe. Not wanting to wake Joe up, he had not moved much, even though he felt restless and finally he stopped moving when he had found this position. On his back, one leg hanging out of the bed and his foot touching the cold floor, his left arm angled above his head, eyes staring at the ceiling.

It was dead silent, no sound but Joe’s breathing. Soothing and comforting in his restlessness. The last other sounds he had heard earlier, listening into the night for a while, were the voices of Andy and Nile downstairs, talking still for hours after he and Joe and excused themselves and had retreated to their room.

Now that everyone but him was asleep, Joe curled around him, hair tousled and skin still damp with sweat, he found himself again in a state he did not have words for.

He turned his head a little, looking down at the love of his life who was fast asleep, his head resting on Nicky’s shoulder, one hand on his chest, close to his heart, his long-lashed eyelids fluttered in a dream. Nicky lowered his lips to Joe’s hair and pressed a kiss to his lover’s head, and then slowly and carefully inched away from him, not wanting to wake him while he slipped out of bed. He stretched his limbs and looked again at Joe, checking if he was still asleep but except for shifting a little and burying his head in the pillow Nicky just had left behind, there was no change in Joe’s position. Nicky could not help but smile at the sight, but then picked up the first shirt he came across and put it on, and also stepped into the sweatpants he had lost earlier.

Without making a sound, he went to the French doors that lead to a balcony and stepped outside, inhaling the fresh night air of the desert.

He leaned against the railing and looked over the endless sands, the heat of the day behind them long gone. The sky was almost black, only moon and stars giving their light to his always observant eyes.

He had stood on a similar balcony.

Many years ago.

Also looking over a desert, not knowing that destiny would soon, so soon, change everything he believed in and hoped for. Not knowing that he would lead a life so different from that he had thought he would have.

Back then.

And Nicky remembered.

He remembered Nicolò...

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/RisingPhnx1
> 
> Comments are very welcome! Tell me what you think!
> 
> English is not my first language, so there will be mistakes.


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